Effort – A vigorous or determined attempt (Oxford dictionary)
Giving 100% of your effort is something that will mean different things to different people. For example, what I can give in effort towards a particular goal or task may not be the same as what you could give, and that may be different again for the next person you meet etc.
Although we share many similarities, there is no denying that we are all different too. We are different physically; we are different psychologically and spiritually, and we each have different and unique life experiences, all of which can influence our capabilities at any given time. So when I say that giving 100% effort will mean different things to different people, it is a perfectly plausible comment to make… right?
Of course it is.
However, over the years I have had great difficulty accepting my 100% as ‘good enough’.
Sound familiar?
Since my last blog post I have been in training for my first fight as an amateur boxer and I have been unhappy with my 100%. I had hoped that by writing to you and putting my intentions out into the open, I would be able to muster the motivation I need to get to where I want to be, within the time frame I had set myself.
Unfortunately this has been easier said than done.
I haven’t written anything for a while because I had wanted to wait until I was able to write a glowing report about how my training is going and give you all some positive news. I have decided not to wait for that ‘perfect time’ and instead share with you from where I am right now, on this journey towards my goal of becoming a boxer.
I am still having nightmares that make me physically sick. The nightmares leave me feeling exhausted and sometimes I find it physically difficult to speak as my face and mouth feel numb. It’s frustrating and disheartening. On days like those I manage to get to the gym and train my clients, but then have nothing left in the tank to train myself.
That being said I am seeing improvements when I do spar. I am running faster and my footwork is improving. I have realised that I need to take a step back from my worries and self judgements and take a look at the bigger picture.
Those of you who have read my book will know that I have fought very hard already to be where I am today. One year ago I was about to start an alcohol detox programme and found it very difficult to leave the house for any other reason than to buy alcohol. Today I am in preparation for a boxing match!
Whilst I have not been happy with my 100% I know that it is good enough.
It is good enough because it is MY 100% and that is all that need concern me.
Accepting my 100% as it is now is an act of self-love and kindness. It creates space for self-improvement and removes any negative self judgement that can hold you back indefinitely.
So if you too have been, or are unhappy with what your 100% looks like right now, don’t let it stop you from giving it. Know that whatever your 100% looks like on any given day, it is good enough, and that your best can get better with patience, time, and a little self-love and kindness.
Written with Loving intentions,
Zoe
Zoe Patterson: Fighting back 
Hi Zoe,
I have just read your book… in 24 hours. It is the most honest, heartbreaking and truly devastating story I have ever read. There were points during it that I sat with tears rolling down my face.
You are such a brave and strong person and I am so glad you were able to tell your story to the world.
I hope you are continuing with your new life and things are going well for you now. Keep going with the boxing!!
I will continue to follow your blogs with huge interest and look forward to seeing and hearing about all of the progress that you make!
With lots of love and best wishes for the future, you really are one of life’s heroes… XX
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Hi Hayley, thank you so much for reading my story and getting in touch. Don’t worry, I will keep moving forward, and when I’m not doing that I am now in a place where I can just BE and enjoy the moment. Sending love and light. Zoe XX
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Hi Zoe
I have just finished reading your book. Omg what a story you had to tell. Although no one will ever understand what is was to live your life. I’m pleased to see you have over come so much and achieve what you have. Sending you love and positive vibes for your new future. And thank you for sharing your life story. I’m glad you have found some kind of peace after all that.
Warm wishes Tasha xx
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Hi Tasha, thanks for the positive vibes : ) Zoe xx
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Hello Zoe, I have just finished reading your book, that of your life: it amazed me the strength you had even to describe/write about your experiences never mind living it. Some of the things you talked about, such as your mothers behaviour has reminded me of my own mother and lack of relationship in that for me: I to asked myself why? Why a mother would treat the one they supposed to love that way, reading your story; helps me to understand that I’m not alone; that it’s nothing that I’ve done. My self too had abuse that I’ve had support for In the form of counselling; however, though my life is happy and thriving with positives, at times thoughts creep back into your mind about it. Keep going with your next journey and adventure: I will keep reading your blogs. Take care amazing woman. 😊
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Hi Carol, thank you for reading my story. It is very hard coming to terms with having an unloving mother. I’m glad that my story has helped you to see that it wasn’t anything that you have done and that you are not alone.
It really isn’t personal. It’s all to do with them. I know that doesn’t change the pain we have experienced but we can learn to detach from it when we realise it is not our fault. So glad you are going to be reading my blogs 😊
I am reading a book at the moment called I met a monk by Rose Elliot. It talks about suffering; instead of saying I am suffering, say there is suffering. It’s been life changing for me in a sense. Are there any books that you could recommend? I’m thinking of perhaps starting up a reading group, or something to get more people reading, connecting and growing 😊 sending you lots of love, Zoe
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