Two nights ago I had a very strange dream that I would like to share with you.
I was standing alone in my mothers living room. I was feeling the side of my head, just behind my ear, where I had noticed a lump. The lump was uncomfortable and I was anxious to get rid of it. I started to squeeze it between my finger and thumb and was shocked when the head of a miniature snake burst through.
The snake was angry having been disturbed and was trying to bite my fingers as I tried to remove it from my head. Luckily, I was faster than the snake, and was able to grab hold of it and pull it out. I threw it to the ground where it slithered around in circles before turning to face me.
The snake hissed at me and lunged itself forwards, bearing its fangs. I knew that it was going to try to get inside of my head again. I couldn’t let that happen so I stamped on its head, ending its life.
This dream is so relevant right now in relation to my life and where I am up to with my spiritual growth.
For most of my life I have had a voice inside my head telling me that…
I am not good enough.
I am stupid.
There is something wrong with me.
I am unlovable and undeserving.
Can you relate dearest reader?
For most of my life I have never questioned this voice, believing it to be my own.
A few weeks ago I visited a primary school to teach boxing. I must have seen close to 300 kids in total, and although I was nervous at first, I actually really enjoyed myself. It was such an honor and a privilege to have the opportunity to share my love of boxing with so many kids.
On my way home from the primary school I was suddenly overcome with a devastating and painful realisation that felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I realised that I had just proved to myself that the voice I have been so used to listening to was not my own but my mothers, and that everything it had ever told me about myself was a lie.
My God that hurt so much because I have missed out on so much because of it.
But after the initial pain had worn off, and I was able to get my breath back, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude because…
I am good enough.
I am not stupid.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I am lovable and deserving.
My God what a difference a day makes!
We live our lives based around our beliefs and values. It is important we take the time to examine these values and beliefs every so often, especially the beliefs we hold about ourselves. How do your beliefs make you feel? If they don’t make you feel good then maybe they aren’t your beliefs at all. Maybe something someone has said to you has found itself a home inside of your head, like the snake in my dream.
When the opportunity to go into a school and teach boxing came up, I said yes because my reasons for doing so were stronger than my excuses for saying no. When you begin to listen to those inner voices that make you feel good and start to live your life accordingly, all of the nonsense that has ever taken up space in your head becomes glaringly obvious and much easier to clear out.
Please protect and nourish your mind with loving thoughts, and make sure to challenge every thought that causes you pain or gets you running scared. You don’t have to live with them.