Spending Christmas alone

Last year I made the decision to spend Christmas alone and I have to say I had a lovely day. This year, however, I am spending Christmas alone when really there is someone I’d like to be spending it with. Circumstances won’t allow it and so this year I have a heavy heart.

I’ve seen so many social media posts this week wishing people a merry Christmas with loved ones. It seems to be an assumption, so often made, that we all have someone we love to spend Christmas with and that just isn’t the case. There will be many care leavers for example, and in particular, young care leavers, who will be spending Christmas alone this year. We don’t all have families that fit the current society’s definition of “normal” and that can bring about a sense of shame; shame silences us and perpetuates a feeling of disconnection, which brings about more shame and on and on it goes. I’ve certainly felt ashamed and disconnected today. But then I went for a walk and said good morning to a magpie and my perspective shifted.

Saying good morning to that magpie made my heart feel warm in the same way it would had I said good morning to someone I love, so I wished the tress a good morning too! There is a saying that blood is thicker than water. Well I am made of earth, so then, I can consider anything made of earth my blood.

Family is not limited to the human or that which we think of as blood, and I hope this provides some comfort and opportunities for connection for those of us who may be spending Christmas alone when we’d really rather not.

With love and warmest wishes,

-Zoe Patterson

-Fighting Back